Unwritten Wedding Vows

Beyond the "for richer, for poorer" parts, there are the unspoken vows. These range from serious (loving you through the puking!) to the more humorous. I'm all about the humor, so here are my thoughts from last night.

Our littlest cat, Missy, and I have a bedtime routine. I bring her kitty treat into the bathroom while I'm brushing my teeth and put it in some place that she has to work at least a little bit to reach. It's not a big challenge to her, but it makes her start purring as she "hunts." So last night, after she had "captured" her treats, she was sitting on the bathroom counter, purring and staring up toward the ceiling. I was thinking, "Oh, she's so cute! She's looking up at me adoringly," and all other sorts of other warm fuzzies. But she wasn't looking at me exactly. Then I wondered, "Why does she keep staring at the ceiling?" So I looked up.

Big, black spider. Yep. Above my head.

Here's the unwritten marriage vow thing. Craig's job is spider control. I don't do spiders. Now, those of you who know me well, know I'm no wuss. I love nature; I dig in the mud, pick up worms, touch snakes, dissect owl pellets, examine skulls and bones, etc. I don't mind bugs, and I don't mind spiders--when I'm watching them outside from a safe distance. I understand and appreciate their place in the ecosystem, and I find them fascinating and cool from a naturalist's perspective. 

However, they are not allowed in my house unless they follow my rules. (Remain visible at all times but in an out-of-the-way spot. Be relatively small. Show me that you're providing for the common good by the bug carcasses under your web.) 

The spider on the ceiling was clearly in violation of my house rules, so Craig had to get out of bed and kill it. He complained about this, and I will admit that I very bluntly reminded him of the wedding vow thing. "You take care of spiders. I take care of the cards."

It's good to know who does what in a relationship, don't you think? :D

Now, we did establish healthy boundaries early on in our marriage. For example, I remember that I called him one day right after we were married. (We were still in our apartment in Elyria, which we only had for 3 months before we moved to Kettering.) He was at work at Landmark, and I had gotten up after having worked at the lab. There was a scary centipede thing in the bathroom. He would not come home to get rid of it. I will grudgingly admit (now) that that was reasonable.

However, it is reasonable to expect him to come home from a church meeting that has already gone too late to deal with this:

Do you see the size of that thing?! It was too fast for me to attempt scooting it outside with a broom and dustpan. So we trapped it under a plastic container and put some books on the top to hold the container down. It was that big--I was afraid it could push the container off of it!

Anyway, like I already mentioned, my job is cards. I'm the Commemorater of Events. I take care of birthdays, anniversaries, new babies, illnesses, deaths, etc. And I do a pretty good job, I think. The only problem I have from time to time is my mailbox impairment. See, when I put something in an envelope, address it, stick the return address label on it, and put the stamp on it, I am done. It's crossed off my mental list and finished. Somehow my mind forgets the crucial step of actually putting the item in the mailbox.  Fortunately, Craig usually has my back if I forget, and I've taken to writing down on my to-do list such things as, "Put the card in the mailbox!". (But that does mean that if I've been owing you something like a thank-you note, you can be assured that somewhere in my house there is a stamped card with your name on it.)

So what are your unspoken marriage vows?

Sweet 16, Catching Up on Fall Stuff, & Turning 40

It's been a while since I've written an entry here. Actually, I have several written but unpublished. Some are unfinished, but some just didn't need to see the light of day here.

Anyway, I'd say the highlight of our fall was Katie turning 16. We had a big party here at the house, and we had fun decorating and planning. The dining tent ended up getting set up inside due to the extreme wind and chilliness, but it worked out fine.

Pretty cupcakes from the Cake Diva in Waynesville

Set for tea

Cosmos floating under a candle

The Butler serves tea.

The 16 Candle Ceremony

More cosmos from the garden

A photographer friend from church came and took fashion photos of the girls, and then they enjoyed a tea party.

Gorgeous Katie!

Beautiful Sarah!

All of the pretty girls! :)

Yeah, you'll be seeing that one on our Christmas card.

 

Of course, it is hard to believe that she's 16, but I didn't have any huge moments of melancholy about it. Yes, it can be bittersweet when you really start to think about it, but, truly, I'm just so blessed to see her becoming such a beautiful young lady--beautiful inside and out. I think I've been holding my breath since I became a mother. "Will I screw them up beyond repair?!" I wish I could've learned to live without that anxiety, but I never really have. In any case, I can see glimpses of the end result of my mothering, and maybe, just maybe, they're going to be okay. Maybe. 

Or maybe I shouldn't have said that out loud.

Well, moving on, school has been going pretty well. (I mean homeschooling, by the way. I'm on hiatus from my college education. And loving it!) It's amazing how much more with it I feel now that my attention isn't divided by college. That goes for every area of my life. We are currently nearing the end of Frankenstein, and I think they're enjoying it.  Sarah says she really enjoyed the Sherlock Holmes stories we read, and Katie really liked Hamlet. They both said they enjoyed Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, too. (Love those girls!) We've also taken off several days here and there to enjoy the season and see the sights.

Hannah & Katie at our 15th Annual Hayride

Rebekah & Sarah

Pumpkins in the field

Samantha, Katie, & Sarah at Caesar Creek State Park

Katie, Samantha, & Sarah at Fort Ancient

Reflection of Covered Bridge, Greene County

Pretty stream, Greene County

I'm sure there's more that we've done, but I'm running out of time to write. 

Lastly, it's my 40th birthday today.  How do I feel about that? Hmmm...well, I've had some angst about it before now. I've done some whining and mourning and stern talking to myself and all of that. Today, though, I'm okay. I have a cold or sinus infection or something, so I've taken it easy all day. Craig and Katie were off hunting. Sarah had dance this morning. I have counted birds for Project FeederWatch, done some work for AHG, played on the internet (only looked at one page of kittens!), and otherwise putzed around the house. 

Maybe I've turned 80 instead of 40. :-\

Martinmas

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’" (Matthew 25:40, NIV).

Saint Martin of Tours

    Feastday: November 11
    Patron of Soldiers

    Born in 315 or 316 in Pannonia, a Roman province that includes modern Hungary, Martin came into a world in transition. Christians were no longer persecuted by the Roman empire but Christianity was still not accepted by all. Martin's father, an Roman army officer who had risen through the ranks, remained faithful to the old religion and suspicious of this new sect, as did Martin's mother. Therefore it was Martin's own spiritual yearning and hunger that led him to secretly knock on the door of the local Christian church and beg to be made a catechumen -- when he was ten years old. In contemplative prayer, he found the time to be alone with God that he ached for. In the discussion of the mysteries, he found the truth he hoped for.

    He was still an unbaptized catechumen when he was forced to join the army at 15. The Roman army apparently had a law that required sons of veterans to serve in the military. Still, Martin found this so far removed from his desire to be a Christian monk that he had to be held in chains before taking the military oath. Once the oath was administered he felt bound to obey. He was assigned to a ceremonial cavalry unit that protected the emperor and rarely saw combat. Like his father, he became an officer and eventually was assigned to garrison duty in Gaul (present-day France).


    Even in the military Martin attempted to live the life of a monk. Though he was entitled to a servant because he was an officer, he insisted on switching roles with his servant, cleaning the servant's boots instead of the other way around!

    It was on this garrison duty at Amiens that the event took place that has been portrayed in art throughout the ages. On a bitterly cold winter day, the young tribune Martin rode through the gates, probably dressed in the regalia of his unit -- gleaming, flexible armor, ridged helmet, and a beautiful white cloak whose upper section was lined with lambswool. As he approached the gates he saw a beggar, with clothes so ragged that he was practically naked. The beggar must have been shaking and blue from the cold but no one reached out to help him. Martin, overcome with compassion, took off his mantle. In one quick stroke he slashed the lovely mantle in two with his sword, handed half to the freezing man and wrapped the remainder on his own shoulders. Many in the crowd thought this was so ridiculous a sight that they laughed and jeered but some realized that they were seeing Christian goodness. That night Martin dreamed that he saw Jesus wearing the half mantle he had given the beggar. Jesus said to the angels and saints that surrounded him, "See! this is the mantle that Martin, yet a catechumen, gave me." When he woke, it was the "yet a catechumen" that spurred Martin on and he went immediately to be baptized. He was eighteen years old.

(From here: http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=81)

I really enjoy finding and celebrating these holidays that are not well known in America. I think they add a depth to the church year that we tend to lack. Plus, they are fun and, hopefully, make good memories. (Either that, or the girls will have plenty of memories to commiserate over when they get older.)

Lanterns have become a part of the celebration of Martinmas (particularly in Germany) , so the girls and I made lanterns. 

Then we went outside with our lanterns. Unfortunately, we didn't really know what songs to sing. (We did a bit of "This Little Light of Mine.") It's okay. It was beautiful (if cold) outside in the bright moonlight.

 We also plan to take several bags of clothes to Goodwill, as a remembrance of the kindness Martin showed to the beggar.