Habits

Studies say that it takes 28 days to form a new habit. I don't know what the studies say about breaking an old habit, but I'd guess it takes at least twice as long. On one hand, that's a somewhat discouraging thought. On the other hand, it does explain why I'm still tempted each day to not continue in the new behaviors I'm trying to put into place. I'm not just putting into place new behaviors--I'm changing old habits. 

This is a thought worth highlighting. When we add a new habit, aren't we really replacing an old one? When I add in reading my Bible every day, for example, am I not really replacing whatever habit I had before that (free time, computer time, reading whatever I want, extra sleep, etc.)?  If I'm right in that thinking, then maybe the 28 days thing is just completely false. Maybe it actually takes more time than that since you are really replacing and breaking old habits in favor of new ones.

So here's what I'm trying to do right now. 

1) Get out of bed and immediately go take my shower.

I know; to many of you, the thought of doing anything else seems weird, but I typically don't have anywhere to go in the mornings. Since I'm not a morning person, I don't want to get out of bed in the first place, and I certainly don't want to go do something right away that resembles work. I want to stumble out to the kitchen, fix my tea, grab some breakfast (I'm getting to those habits next!), and park myself on the computer till the caffeine starts clearing the cobwebs out of my head.

However, what happens during the school year is this. After being a computer zombie for a while, then it's time to start school, so we go start school. Then it's time for lunch, and, afterwards, more school. Well, gee, now it's 2pm or so, and I'm not showered or presentable to anyone outside of my home. UPS Guy? I run and hide! Go outside and fill up the bird feeders or do something else that needs done? No way. 

So I decided this was ridiculous. And I've been working on breaking this habit for a little less than a month now.  And every day I'm still tempted to slide out of bed and go into zombie mode. Every day.  God is giving me the victory, though!

2) Breakfast will not consist of whatever food I can shove in my mouth whilst still half asleep.

Getting that shower first has really helped with this one. I am at least a little more awake by the time I make it out to the kitchen. I've stopped buying fruit and grain bars, too, which helps. I would eat two of those every morning, and that was my breakfast--not the worst choice, by any stretch of the imagination, but not the best either. So now I'm trying to be better about picking better foods, whole foods, good stuff, etc.  So far, so good.

3) My morning cuppa does not need 2+ teaspoons of sugar in it to be palatable.

Well, I must confess some failings in this one. As it turns out, I do think some sugar is needed to make my tea palatable (Barry's Irish Breakfast, in case you're curious). I drank it black for about a week, and I finally caved. To be fair, this is not some mild herbal tea. This is serious tea.  I am keeping it to 1 teaspoon of sugar, though.  (Before you suggest it, no, stevia doesn't cut it. I drink my iced tea with stevia, and that is fine. But it really doesn't work with strong, black tea.  Honey won't work for it either.)

Okay, so far, there's a definite morning theme going on with my changes. :) I guess that was an area where I felt I had a lot of weakness.

The other habit I'm trying to add in is more exercise. I kind of hesitate to write it out here because I'm afraid that I'll jinx myself. But I am getting out more and doing more stuff--hiking, walking, gardening, etc. I'd like to make that a consistent thing, at least 3 times a week. (Small goal for 3 months. Big goal is 5 times a week, and I've given myself 6 months to implement that.)

One thing I read in my Family Herbalist book that has been helpful is to realize that a lifestyle change might take as much as 2 years to implement. So write out your goals, set smaller, incremental goals, rank them as to how easy you think they'll be to put into place, and then start with the easier ones first, gradually adding in other goals as you go. (The key here is gradually. For me, I tend to think that a week's time is gradual; this was encouraging to read that gradual might mean 2 years. That takes a lot of pressure off!)

So is anyone else working on changing any habits?

A Simple Wrap-Up

For Today… June 11, 2012 at 3:33pm

From the Heart:  I'm enjoying a day at home by myself. The girls are with Mom, and Craig is with some guys fishing on Lake Erie. I am cleaning, getting on the computer, taking care of administrative-type stuff, listening to music, praying and thinking, etc. Rinse and repeat.

On the Homefront: I need to go grocery shopping, so there's nothing being made at the moment. I am cleaning, though. All of the birds are restocked on food, including the hummingbirds. (I hate emptying their feeder because of the dead ants floating in it. Yuck.) It's been raining all day, so I'm happy that I don't have to water my new landscaping. I have decided that watering stuff is Very. Boring.

In the School Room:

I was thinking about the few things I still need to get for next year. I want some kind of Bible study, and then there's consumer math. I think that's about it, though.

In the Literary Scene: 

I started reading At the Back of the North Wind by George MacDonald. I'm supposed to lead the Book Club discussion on this. I kind of wish we'd chosen The Wise Woman instead, but maybe this one will be okay. I'm afraid they'll think it's very weird, as it is highly fantastical. Well, I'm only into chapter 4 or 5, I think, so we'll see how it goes. I like George MacDonald, in general, and he has to be cool since he was a huge inspiration to Tolkien and Lewis.

Outside my Window…it's trying to decide if it's going to continue raining or if it's done for the day. In any case, it's very green outside. :)

I am thinking… that I hope both girls enjoy youth camp, which is coming up in 2 weeks. I hope they don't get homesick and that they grow spiritually. I am sad for Katie that one of her best friends is moving, and I'm sad for myself, too, to see the family move. I think our church is healthier than it's ever been, which is a good, good thing. 

I am thankful for…good health and my family.  Rain (even if I'm leading a walking group in it tonight).

From the kitchen… nothing except iced tea. I need to go grocery shopping!

I am hoping… that summer camp plans work out well for the girls, especially Sarah.

I am creating… a clean home, one tiny bit at a time.

I am hearing... Caravanserai by Loreena McKennitt, the dryer, crows, and a cardinal eating sunflower seeds.

One of my favorite things… good health, beautiful nature, days at home.

I am praying for... good health (always) and for wisdom.  Craig and the guys out fishing.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week… still need to finish my Family Herbalist chapter. Band (I think), landscaping tomorrow with Jenn, walking group tonight, girls have karate, Katie needs to paint a tree on the wall at church, etc.

I accomplished since last week… MSBC had its first Day of Service, and my group cleared garlic mustard out of Grant Park near the Chimneys. We gathered at least 14 big trash bags full! I took some risks in the stinging nettle and paid for it, but I pulled a lot of garlic mustard out.  We also went to Young's Dairy and hiked at Glen Helen on Justin's birthday.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you:

Missy looking cute on the handmade quilt by my Aunt Olamae (my grandma's sister);
some of those fabrics are from clothes my mom made for me when I was a girl. :)

Music Meme (because I want to write but can't think of anything to say)

Did you play in the school band? Yes, I played clarinet from 5th grade up till 8th grade. Then I switched to bassoon (except for marching band & pep band). In 11th grade, I switched back to clarinet and played that into college.

Church choir? Yes, I did this, too, and still do from time to time, though my primary focus is the church band.  (Alto, in case it's important to know.)

What is your favourite song right now? Oh dear, that's a tough one.  Where I Belong by Switchfoot may be my favorite. I am also liking Cough Syrup by Young the Giant.

Favourite Lyrics?  Right now, it might be Where I Belong. 



Favourite Band? Switchfoot, U2, Coldplay, Evanescence, Death Cab for Cutie, Depeche Mode, Muse, Great Big Sea--obviously, I can't just pick one!

Favourite Soloist?  Well, I know he's old school, but I still love Sting. And Enya is great.  Kate Miller-Heidke is really good, as well, as is Sufjan Stevens.

Favourite Musical (theatre)? Well, I can't say that I'm a huge fan of musicals, and I haven't seen many in the theatre. I guess I'd have to say Phantom of the Opera. ??

Favorite Musical (movie)? Again, I'm not a huge fan, so this is hard to pick. The Music Man is funny and good.

Have you ever belonged to a mail order music club? Oh, yeah! I forgot about those. Yes, I've belonged to a few and did seem to come out ahead on the deals.

Do you still have your old tape collection? Yes, though I've tried to replace them with mp3's as much as possible. (I actually got rid of many of them not that long ago.)

Do you let your friends borrow your music?  I refuse to answer this on the grounds that I might be violating some laws or something. :D

If you were stranded on a desert island what CD would you take with you? This is an easy cheat--I'd take a compilation CD of my own design. :D It would include songs from the groups/artists listed above, plus more, I'm sure.

What song takes you back to your childhood?  I have several that do this--anything by Neil Diamond, John Denver, or Kenny Rogers. Those were my mom's favorite artists. The Eagles, too.  

What song reminds you of your teen years?  New Sensation, Devil Inside, Never Tear Us Apart by INXS, Faith by George Michael, Desire by U2, What's On Your Mind by Information Society (How can you not like a band that uses Star Trek sound bytes?), Kyrie by Mr. Mister, anything by Depeche Mode, Duran Duran, Pet Shop Boys, or Erasure.

(That is pure 80s awesome right there! LOL!)

How about your college years?  I was definitely heavy into Depeche Mode, The Cure, The Violent Femmes, etc.  The one song that I can say for sure would be Halo.



Your later 20s?  Okay, I will admit that I entered into a really dark and scary place here, musically-speaking. I blame it on Craig.

I started listening to country music. It only lasted for a few years, and then I came to my senses. But I did really like Garth Brooks there for a while. There, I've admitted it.

But I can unashamedly post this one by Garth:

http://youtu.be/rOUiboOsUwU

(There's no video to see, but the song is great!)

30s? I think I drifted much more into Celtic territory here and Christian alternative. That's pretty much where I am now still, only a little more into alternative secular.  Loreena McKennitt, Coldplay, Great Big Sea, Switchfoot, Flogging Molly, Ginny Owens, Muse--and so it circles back around to the beginning of the meme.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

(This was an old post that I never actually published.  I figured I might as well.)

 

I don't mean to make anyone feel bad by writing this, so let me say that upfront. It's just that, well, I tend to leave parenting classes or seminars feeling like a big, fat failure. (It's the same after reading many parenting books or blogs.) It seems like whatever I was supposed to do when they were younger I didn't. I didn't manage to be as calm and nurturing as I should have been. I didn't take every opportunity I had to connect them to Christ. I yelled. I lost my temper. I was too permissive. I was too strict. I didn't play with them enough.

The list goes on. Oh, I know that no one is perfect. No one does it right all of the time, and, of course, everyone admits that. It's just that when you're a perfectionist you've never done enough.  It's just never enough.

(Cue The Cure here...)

The Cure - Never Enough
Get More: The Cure - Never Enough

(LOL! Yikes! Pure, creepy awesome, that is.)

Anyway, I digress.

Ahem. So I was feeling pretty down last night, which carried on into today. I said something to Craig about it; the girls were there and joined the discussion a little bit. Tonight, Katie goes, "Why did you say you felt like a failure as a parent? What do you think you didn't do right?"

I gave her the short version of my answer and then said, "Why do you ask?"

She replied, "I've been trying to think all day what it could have possibly been. I don't think you guys failed at all."

So there you go. Straight from the horse's mouth.  (I'd apologize to Katie for comparing her to a horse, but she probably wouldn't mind in the least.)

For Today… June 5, 2012 at 6:59pm

From the Heart:  I had a nice visit with Carolyn today. We didn't get to see Venus make its transit across the sun (very cloudy), but we did have our French-themed celebration of the end of the school year with good food.

Big changes are going on all around me, and I'm unsettled about them. But what can you do? Cope and move on.

On the Homefront: New homemade liquid soap is put away in its container for storage. Herbs have been dried and have been put into jars with pretty labels. A pretty bunch of lavender is drying and is a source of frustration to Missy, who can't reach it in order to eat it.  (She stares at it and starts her hunting purr.)

In the School Room:

School is done for the year! Yay! But, as all homeschoolers know, school is never truly out. Life is school.

In the Literary Scene: 

The girls and I left off in the middle of Two Towers, but there was no help for it (sore throat & a cold, visit from Grandma Judy, and the end of the school year). I am in the middle of Cotillion, which is pretty good. The Regency-era vernacular dialogue is a bit much at times. ( "Dicked in the nob"? ...I will refrain from further comment.)

Outside my Window… it's cloudy and gloomy, but there is a bit of light on the horizon. A baby sparrow is convincing a male cardinal to feed it every time the cardinal comes to the feeder. I guess its wing fluttering and gaping beak are too much for the daddy to resist!

I am thinking… that I need to go water my plants, especially the hydrangea bush that is still looking puny after its transplantation. There is still housework to do, but, then again, when isn't there work to do? I am thinking that I should be counting my blessings instead of feeling kind of down.

I am thankful for…good health and my family.  Pretty labels on jars filled with dried herbs. Birds outside my window. A bunch of lovely lavender drying.

From the kitchen… a mess! But Katie and Hannah made crepes for dessert, and we filled them with jam, chocolate chips, and homemade whipped cream.

I am wearing… clothes. (Why is this question in here anyway?)

I am hoping… that my summer doesn't get too filled up with stuff I don't really want to do.

I am creating… soap, I guess. Dried herbs. An amigurumi monkey for Sarah.

I am hearing... the dishwasher and the girls listening to AFV.

One of my favorite things… good health, beautiful nature, days at home.

I am praying for... good health (always) and for wisdom.  A friend's father-in-law who has encephalitis. A friend who's on a prayer mission.  South Sudan.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week… no band on Wednesday, Lowe's to get house stuff, landscaping on Thursday with Jenn, Growth Group, celebrating Justin's birthday on Friday (maybe a hike on the Buckeye Trail and Young's Dairy), and the Day of Service on Saturday. Oh, and I need to finish studying the current chapter in my Family Herbalist course.

I accomplished since last week… I don't know. I can't think of anything major.  Oh, Jenn and I took out 5 huge evergreen shrubberies (< insert Holy Grail voice here >) around the house. I walked about 5.5 miles last night with two friends. I hiked 4 miles with Craig and Gail on Saturday. We had Cara and Andrew and the girls over on Friday night. (We watched RV. :D) It's been pretty laidback here.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you:

 

Be Still and Know by David Arms

 (Of course, the rest of that quote is "...that I am God."  The hummingbird is a nice picture of my mind, actually, so when I went to look for a picture to post here and came across this one first, I figured God was trying to tell me something.)