A Poem by vison

So, you know, I’m a common person.
I can’t live on high all the time;
I can't stay under either,
I’m made of something that makes me float
Up from the deep dark pit at the bottom.
Here I am, stuck in dailiness:
A woman whose work is not only never done,
This woman doesn’t want it to be.
Queens and Saints went mad, they didn’t cook
And do laundry. They sat on golden chairs
Or lolled about in damp caves being Holy,
And thought they were like men.
Sisters, I got news for you:
Washing clothes and stacking dishes
Are charms against madness and despair.

Here I am at the end of a long heavy day,
A day I carried around for months,
A day I turned over and over in my hands
Trying to get it to be right.
But days, like the weather, have their own rules
And they proceed from dawn to dark
Exactly as if I wasn’t even here.
This is a lesson I haven’t yet learned
Though something has been trying to teach me.
I’m used to stacking dishes and folding clothes.
But sometimes you can’t stack or fold,
You can only endure the day from dark to sun
And back again. The best thing is,
It’s never as bad as you thought it would be,
Except when it’s worse.

~Sheila Engh

Remembering vison

A light has gone out of my life.  A very dear "imaginary" friend (as we like to call each other online) passed away Thanksgiving day.  I know. The imaginary friend part sounds weird, but the truth is that I have lots of online friends. However, you need to realize that I've known many of them for 10 years, and they are more real in so many ways than most of my real life friends. Yes, I miss out on the tangible things—the non-verbal cues and patterns, the physical appearance, the quirks and voice inflections, and the sound of their laughter and sighs. But I know their souls, and I know them in a way that I rarely get to know the souls of the people I am physically around each day.

I knew vison's soul. 

When we first met, I encountered a formidable foe. In the fierce halls of Manwë, we clashed on just about everything but mostly over matters of faith. She was an outspoken atheist, and her blunt style rubbed me the wrong way at times. I'm afraid Craig heard more rants than he cared to about vison! 

Over the 9 years we knew each other, though, we came to respect each other. She challenged my faith. I grew from that, as painful as it was at times. She made me dig deeper. She made me grow wider in my views.  I began to look at her not as a foe but as a friend.  I am a better person and a better Christian for having known her.

We eventually revealed our real names. Sheila always called me by my online name, though. I liked that about her.

But I never got to meet her in person. I never got to hear her voice either. I did call not that long ago, but I didn't get through to her. I wish I'd had her number before then and that I had called her earlier. I wish I'd been able to attend one of the get-togethers my online friends had. Maybe I should have been braver. (It certainly would have helped to be a little bit richer!) Regrets. I hate them. I normally try to live with an eye toward avoiding them. But no such luck this time.

We did exchange gifts at times. I will always cherish the copy of Cottage Pie she sent me—a book that she loved. We shared a love for Tolkien, obviously, but also for Laura Ingalls Wilder and Anne of Green Gables, and we gave each other gifts with those loves in mind. 

She was a writer, too. That's an understatement, really.  She was an extremely talented writer, and, on those occasions when she'd write us a short story or vignette, it was such a delight.  I can't believe I won't get to read any new stories from her.

(And after I wrote that I had to stop for awhile. Too painful.)
  
As a friend, her common sense and her wisdom helped me through difficult times. She could tell me that I was being too sensitive in certain situations; she could also offer to come and knock some heads together for me in other situations. She really did always seem to know the right thing to say, and she could see through situations to the heart of the matter, often using her sense of humor to soften the blow. Sometimes that hurt to have laid bare for me, but it helped. It always helped. 

She could say, "You are sweet and generous and she's being a touchy cow.  That's how I see it."  Or she could give me good, but hard-to-take advice: "Go, L. You don't have to like it, but you ought to go. In the future, you'll be glad you did. Trust me on this one. Poor L."  Or she could get wound up for me: "L., I'm glad that venting here helps you. But if I was you and people were so cheezed off about such ridiculous things? I'd bulldoze them into powder. For the luvva pete!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You KNOW it's dumb. Please try to never spend one minute again on worrying about this stuff. These people don't deserve to have you and Craig in their lives. Let me at them. They won't bloody well know what hit them. "

That was Sheila! LOL!  And she was always right on this stuff.

I won't ever feel like I've completed this remembrance of vison. Can we really ever sum up in a few words an entire life? (But if anyone could have, it was vison.)

So I'll close with her last private message to me from about 10 days ago:

Luvya, my dear. And I really do. You are one of the best girls I know.

I would go to church with you and pretend to sing. To raise a joyful noise! But it would only raise a shudder.  

*******
I assured her it would most certainly not raise a shudder. 

And I wish we could have done that together more than anything else.

vison and her cuppa
(Thanks to Jude for letting me use his picture.)

Advent Celebrations

Advent is the time of the year when we look forward to celebrating the birth of Jesus, as well as Jesus' promised return. Having been raised Baptist (and despite the fact that I also had a Catholic background), we did not celebrate Advent. I saw the wreaths in my friends' houses, and I thought that was super cool.  I didn't quite know what it all meant, though. 

When I was older and had a family of my own, I began incorporating elements of the traditional Advent observances into our own traditions. Somehow, now, it's acceptable for non-Catholics to have Advent wreaths and observe Advent, but I think this is a good thing.  Over the years, then, I've enjoyed discovering the old traditions surrounding the Advent season, and I've enjoyed creating a few of my own.  So I thought I'd write down what we like to do, and maybe it will inspire others.

Advent Wreath:

I created my own Advent wreath, but they are certainly not hard to find. I'm not the least bit crafty, but I think ours turned out quite pretty.

I won't get into all of the symbolism of the wreath; there are great resources out there for all of that.  But I'll highlight the basics.  You'll notice that there are 3 purple candles, 1 pink candle, and 1 white candle for the middle. The color violet is a penitential color, reminding us of our desperate need for salvation and a Savior.  The pink candle represents joy and is linked with the 3rd Sunday of Advent, Gaudete Sunday: Gaudete in Domino semper (Rejoice in the Lord always!).  The white candle represents Jesus and doesn't get lit until Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Advent begins 4 Sundays before Christmas. One by one, the candles are lit each Sunday, till all 4 candles are lit on the 4th Sunday.  At our home, we do this in connection with opening the Advent calendar.  We read Scripture for that Sunday. Sometimes we sing a Christmas carol. At other times, we read a short devotional.  When the girls were little, I had an ABC book about Advent that we would read every night as we opened flaps on the Advent calendar. We would also read it in connection with the Advent wreath on Sundays.  We always close our time with prayer.

On Christmas Eve, we light the white candle (the Jesus candle), read Scripture, and pray. On Christmas morning, we light the white candle, sing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus, and read the story of Jesus' birth from the Bible.

For additional resources and ideas, I have several links on my Pinterest board entitled Advent, but here are a few:

http://www.churchyear.net/advent.html  (This site explains the basics and the traditions behind the wreath. It also has links to prayers and Scripture readings.)

http://www.churchyear.net/adventwreath.html

http://www.conversiondiary.com/2010/11/baby-steps-for-celebrating-advent-a-cornucopia-of-ideas.html

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/holidays/making-meaningful-christmas-memories/celebrate-advent.aspx

Advent Celebration:

On the Sundays or Saturdays of Advent (whichever actually works for our schedule), we have a family night. This involves cookies or some other kind of special Christmas treat, a special Christmas drink, and a Christmas movie.

Some of my favorite Christmas drinks are wassail, mulled wine (Gluehwein), homemade hot cocoa, and eggnog.  I make each of those at home except for the eggnog.

Again, I have these pinned to my Advent board on Pinterest, but they are all very easy to make.

Cookies are just whatever your family likes and doesn't get to eat every day. We like homemade Russian teacakes and shortbread, but I will also sometimes buy Milano or Bordeaux cookies from Pepperidge Farms. 

Among our favorite movies are A Christmas Story, The Santa Clause, Elf, and Rudolph and the other cartoon movies in this genre. I always save It's a Wonderful Life for Christmas Eve, as this is my absolute favorite movie.

So there's a small glimpse of how we celebrate Advent and Christmas. My main goal has always been to focus the season on Jesus, but I've never minded throwing in the secular aspects, too. However, adding in something like an Advent wreath is a perfect way to refocus everyone on the real reason for celebrating.

A Simple Wrap-Up

(Hey. This is my go-to meme for when I want to write but can't think of anything specific to write about.)


For Today… November 10, 2012 at 2:26pm

From the Heart:  

 

Blessed by friendship.  Worried about our nation.

On the Homefront: 

 

It's a day at home. Woohoo! The weather is nice, and I'm planning to head outside soon to sit in the sunshine and study my Family Herbalist material. Right now, though, I'm inside with the bread.

In the School Room:

It's Saturday, so no official school. School has been tough lately; I'm just tired and phoning it in, I think.

In the Literary Scene: 

 

Things Unseen by Mark Buchanan is achingly beautiful. 

Outside my Window…it's sunny and looks warm. Most of the trees are bare now, but there are a few stragglers around. Some of the beeches still have a few left, and the dogwood is holding onto hers for now.

I am thinking… that I need to get outside!

I am thankful for…good health and my family.  Friends and family.

From the kitchen… two pizza crusts are pre-baked and cooling, waiting to go in the freezer. The dough for bread is resting and rising again after its second folding. I should have 4 loaves of bread in a few hours.

I am hoping…that we actually get some shoe boxes turned in for OCC.  I am glad Craig and Katie had fun hunting, and I'm hoping we have a nice family night tonight. I am hoping we have a good turn out for the fair trade/human trafficking seminar on Monday night.

I am creating… bread! :) I have a few fun ideas for Christmas gifts, too.

I am hearing...Evanescence (Whisper).  Rock 'n' Roll Worship Circus (The Loveliest Bride)--this group is pretty funky, and I like their songs. And now it's U2 (Mysterious Ways). :)

One of my favorite things… good health, beautiful nature, days at home.  Music!

I am praying for... good health (always) and for wisdom.  Keeping my thoughts where they need to be.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week… OCC party tomorrow night, celebrate Martinmas, attend a PEACH meeting for high school graduation, Fair Trade Party Monday night, hiking, figure out how in the world to get the guy at Sinclair to return my calls/emails, AHG, Growth Group, band ??? (who knows??), and the last co-op for the fall! Woohoo!

I accomplished since last week… voted, hiked, co-op, went to a homeschool variety show last night, ran around, school, etc.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you: