Pffft.

Done. I felt the energy leave last night (Monday); unfortunately, it was in the middle of our Growth Group. (It's terribly inconvenient when you feel your social energy evaporate in the midst of a social gathering, and you can't do a darn thing to stop it!)  So, today, I am done. No energy. Trying to hide.  Except that I can't. There is far too much to be done for the graduation.

As I said on Facebook, INTPs should not have to plan big parties. It just seems excessively cruel. Every decision is paralyzing and angst-ridden. Taking Katie along doesn't help because she is an ISFP and is just as awful as I am at making decisions.  The only true help comes from taking along a J, so that's been Craig or Jenn, in this case. (Thank God for Js!  And I have a lot of you in my life! Accidentally on purpose, I think. ;) )

So I spent Tuesday dragging my sorry butt from place to place, hating every minute of everything (except for seeing Denise's smiling face). Then we stopped to watch baby geese and ducks, and that made things a little better.

Now it's Wednesday, and I'm feeling somewhat better.  I think.  Things are getting done. I have so many people offering to help that I'm feeling really humbled by that. (I have some incredibly awesome friends!)  And I think it'll actually come together.

Now, the emotional aspect of it is being rather successfully suppressed by me. (Oh, do not mention the twitching eyebrow or the shingles nerve pain! I am not letting myself think about that.  Shhh.) Anyway, I expect some kind of private meltdown next week. (My online community--ye be warned!)

But I guess I can go ahead now and say a bit about the emotional stuff.  It's been bittersweet as I've realized Katie and I are coming to an end of our official homeschooling journey.  I took a picture of our last chemistry lesson written on the whiteboard. (O, Chemistry, how I love thee! And how Katie does not!)

I mentally marked the last geometry lesson. I've been trying to consciously think about each milestone, not to be depressed but to be mindful. I am not depressed. I am sad at times, but I am mostly joyful and grateful. I'm also still a little bit in denial and disbelief. I truly can't grasp that we made it. Though I threatened her with the big, yellow bus on a regular basis, we never did it. We stuck it out, through good and bad.  There were times I would have cheerfully sold her to Gypsies, and there were times when she hated my guts. But we made it. 

I think we did okay in the end after all.  I think she learned some stuff, too.  (Oh, dear Lord, I hope so; otherwise, she'll be living here forever!)