I knew vison's soul.
When we first met, I encountered a formidable foe. In the fierce halls of Manwë, we clashed on just about everything but mostly over matters of faith. She was an outspoken atheist, and her blunt style rubbed me the wrong way at times. I'm afraid Craig heard more rants than he cared to about vison!
Over the 9 years we knew each other, though, we came to respect each other. She challenged my faith. I grew from that, as painful as it was at times. She made me dig deeper. She made me grow wider in my views. I began to look at her not as a foe but as a friend. I am a better person and a better Christian for having known her.
We eventually revealed our real names. Sheila always called me by my online name, though. I liked that about her.
But I never got to meet her in person. I never got to hear her voice either. I did call not that long ago, but I didn't get through to her. I wish I'd had her number before then and that I had called her earlier. I wish I'd been able to attend one of the get-togethers my online friends had. Maybe I should have been braver. (It certainly would have helped to be a little bit richer!) Regrets. I hate them. I normally try to live with an eye toward avoiding them. But no such luck this time.
We did exchange gifts at times. I will always cherish the copy of Cottage Pie she sent me—a book that she loved. We shared a love for Tolkien, obviously, but also for Laura Ingalls Wilder and Anne of Green Gables, and we gave each other gifts with those loves in mind.
She was a writer, too. That's an understatement, really. She was an extremely talented writer, and, on those occasions when she'd write us a short story or vignette, it was such a delight. I can't believe I won't get to read any new stories from her.
(And after I wrote that I had to stop for awhile. Too painful.)
As a friend, her common sense and her wisdom helped me through difficult times. She could tell me that I was being too sensitive in certain situations; she could also offer to come and knock some heads together for me in other situations. She really did always seem to know the right thing to say, and she could see through situations to the heart of the matter, often using her sense of humor to soften the blow. Sometimes that hurt to have laid bare for me, but it helped. It always helped.
She could say, "You are sweet and generous and she's being a touchy cow. That's how I see it." Or she could give me good, but hard-to-take advice: "Go, L. You don't have to like it, but you ought to go. In the future, you'll be glad you did. Trust me on this one. Poor L." Or she could get wound up for me: "L., I'm glad that venting here helps you. But if I was you and people were so cheezed off about such ridiculous things? I'd bulldoze them into powder. For the luvva pete!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You KNOW it's dumb. Please try to never spend one minute again on worrying about this stuff. These people don't deserve to have you and Craig in their lives. Let me at them. They won't bloody well know what hit them.
"That was Sheila! LOL! And she was always right on this stuff.
I won't ever feel like I've completed this remembrance of vison. Can we really ever sum up in a few words an entire life? (But if anyone could have, it was vison.)
So I'll close with her last private message to me from about 10 days ago:
Luvya, my dear. And I really do. You are one of the best girls I know.
I would go to church with you and pretend to sing. To raise a joyful noise! But it would only raise a shudder.
*******
I assured her it would most certainly not raise a shudder.
And I wish we could have done that together more than anything else.
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| vison and her cuppa (Thanks to Jude for letting me use his picture.) |
3 comments:
That's beautiful Mary Beth. Worthy of a tear. Many a tear. Thank you.
She was a lovely lady. This is a beautiful tribute to her.
'For the luvva pete!' That was one of her catchphrases. :D
She was a wonderful writer. :) And so are you!
((((hug)))))
Philippa
thank you so much for your words.
rob
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